I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
