I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
