Please, let me fuck your mom
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
