Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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