In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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