I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
