He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
