Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
