one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
