I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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