Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
