help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
