we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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