I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
