I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Randomize