Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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