I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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