try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
