I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
