DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
