this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
