If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
ok first of all what the fuck
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
