is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
