Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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