I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
