That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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