problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
