just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
