i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
vagina is talking i cant
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
