So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
