You can't special order awesome
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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