The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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