So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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