Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It's official drugs can't kill me
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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