She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
