Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You can't just leave with hair like that
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Randomize
