Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
