i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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