we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
