I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize