i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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