Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize