Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
