toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I smell stomach acid.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
