Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
