there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm both gender and math confused
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
