were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You are a genius and a whore.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
