I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
that is very illegal...i love you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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