I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
