So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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