I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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