Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
