This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
