I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
