walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
