How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize