Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
