What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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