theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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