That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
