The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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