One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
