You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
