Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
