You're my little dorito
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize