Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
