ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
