My pussy is not your playground.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
