you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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