They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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